- Why did the yogi refuse anesthesia? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
- Yoga class is just people trying to touch their toes while silently judging everyone else’s farts.
- I do yoga to burn off the crazy… and the snacks I ate to cope with it.
- My favorite yoga pose? The one where I lay on the mat and pretend it’s meditation while scrolling TikTok.
- Yoga pants are great… until you realize everyone can see you fart in downward dog.
- Why do yoga instructors make terrible secret agents? They can’t stop telling people to “breathe deeply.”
- I tried a hot yoga class… now I smell like regret and overpriced essential oils.
- My yoga instructor said to focus on my chakras… I focused on the beer in my fridge instead.
- Why did the yogi break up with the meditation app? It was too controlling.
- I do yoga to stay flexible… so I can reach the snacks in my messy apartment without breaking anything.
- Downward dog is just code for “I might fart in front of strangers.”
- They say yoga clears your mind… but mine just clears my bladder in class.
- I bought a yoga mat to feel spiritual… now it’s mostly for napping and crying.
- Why do yogis make terrible drummers? They can’t handle the snaps.
- Yoga is 10% poses, 90% trying not to curse silently when you can’t reach your toes.
