- Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work? In case they needed to draw blood… or write someone up.
- How do nurses survive a long shift? Caffeine, sarcasm, and the occasional scream in the supply closet.
- Why did the nurse break up with the doctor? Too many bedside manners.
- How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb? None—they just chart it and hope someone else notices.
- Why do nurses carry pens and tape? To fix patients… or annoy doctors.
- What’s a nurse’s favorite game? “Guess which patient is exaggerating today.”
- How does a nurse flirt? By giving a shot… of charm.
- Nurses never get lost… they just follow the smell of chaos.
- Why did the nurse go to therapy? Too many bodily fluids and bad attitudes.
- What do you call a nurse with a bad attitude? A human syringe of sarcasm.
- How do nurses stay calm during code blue? Deep breaths… and dark humor.
- Why did the nurse call in sick? They had a patient who was actually contagious with stupidity.
- What’s worse than a nurse on a bad day? Two nurses on a bad day.
- Why did the nurse bring a ladder? To reach the top shelf… of frustration.
- Nursing: turning bodily fluids into comedy since forever.
- How do nurses measure patience? By how many times they can hear “Are you the doctor?” in one shift.
- Why did the nurse cross the hallway? To avoid the doctor’s terrible jokes.
- What’s a nurse’s favorite candy? Life Savers… literally.
- How do you spot a new nurse? They still faint at everything.
- Nurses don’t get tired… they get caffeinated.
- Why did the nurse bring duct tape? To hold everything… including their sanity.
- Nursing is like life… messy, exhausting, and full of surprises.
- How do nurses apologize? They don’t—they chart it.
- Why do nurses hate paperwork? Because no one dies from boredom… yet.
- What’s a nurse’s ideal vacation? Anywhere with no code blues or call lights.
- How do nurses keep secrets? They whisper in the supply closet.
- Nurses: the only people who pay attention to everyone’s bodily fluids.
- Why did the nurse get promoted? They survived the chaos… and thrived.
- How do nurses clean their scrubs? Pray and bleach.
- Why did the nurse break up with the patient? Too clingy.
- Nursing: the art of keeping people alive while pretending you’re not judging them.
- How do you know a nurse has been at your hospital? Your IV lines are perfect, your patience isn’t.
- Why did the nurse refuse to stop? The patient wasn’t done whining.
- What do you call a nurse stuck with paperwork? Immortalized in PDF.
- How do nurses flirt? With a thermometer and a wink.
- Nurses never get lost… they follow the smell of sanitizer.
- Why did the nurse fail the talent show? They were too busy saving lives.
- What’s worse than a nurse missing a dose? Two nurses arguing about whose fault it is.
- Nurses: proof Canadian healthcare is chaotic… and hilarious.
- What’s a nurse’s favorite hobby? Sneaking coffee on break.
