- Toronto is just New York’s annoying little cousin with worse transit and louder opinions.
- Everyone in Toronto makes six figures and still can’t afford shit.
- Toronto rent is so high even the roaches have side hustles.
- People in Toronto don’t ask how you are — they ask where you live and silently judge you.
- Toronto dating is just two people comparing trauma and credit scores.
- The city smells like exhaust, ego, and desperation.
- Toronto thinks it’s a world-class city because it has one decent skyline angle.
- Everyone here “works in finance” but still takes the TTC.
- Toronto drivers treat turn signals like a personal weakness.
- The TTC is proof that patience is a learned trauma response.
- Toronto nightlife is waiting in line to overpay and hate the music.
- Everyone says they’re busy — no one’s doing anything important.
- Toronto is where personality goes to die under hustle culture.
- Toronto men think having a condo is a personality.
- Toronto women can spot bullshit faster than a TTC delay announcement.
- Toronto thinks it invented diversity and still fucks it up daily.
- The city has more fake confidence than real happiness.
- Toronto brunch costs $60 and comes with an identity crisis.
- Everyone’s networking — nobody’s connecting.
- Toronto is the only place where people flex their commute time.
- Toronto conversations are just resumes with cocktails.
- Toronto influencers all look the same, just with different filters.
- Toronto gyms are 90% mirrors and 10% working out.
- The city runs on caffeine, ego, and mild rage.
- Toronto people will complain about Toronto non-stop but lose their minds if you do it.
- Toronto thinks it’s classy because it has bottle service and overpriced sushi.
- Everyone here has a podcast, a brand, or a personality disorder.
- Toronto dating apps are just red flags with professional headshots.
- The city has more condos than emotional availability.
- Toronto parties end early because everyone’s exhausted from pretending.
- Toronto thinks it’s edgy but clutches pearls at real chaos.
- Toronto folks will judge your outfit while wearing black-on-black-on-black.
- The city is loud, crowded, and deeply lonely — like a bad relationship.
- Toronto men love talking about crypto like it still matters.
- Toronto women have heard every line and are tired of all of them.
- Toronto is where people call themselves entrepreneurs because they sell courses.
- The only thing harder than dating in Toronto is finding parking.
- Toronto has more rules than personality.
- Everyone claims they’re “low drama” — they are not.
- Toronto nightlife peaks when the bar closes and people argue on the sidewalk.
- Toronto thinks it’s cultured because it has food from everywhere and time for none of it.
- The city is allergic to fun unless it’s monetized.
- Toronto people will ghost you and still like your LinkedIn post.
- Toronto is where dreams come to get rebranded.
- Everyone’s “just grinding” but going nowhere.
- Toronto has more luxury cars than financial literacy.
- The city loves status more than substance.
- Toronto folks will say “let’s link” and never mean it.
- Toronto is just stress with better marketing.
- Everyone here thinks they’re important — statistically impossible.
- Toronto is proof that money doesn’t buy taste or self-awareness.
- It’s a great city… if you enjoy being exhausted, broke, and surrounded by ambition without joy.
