- Car salesmen don’t lie — they finance the truth.
- This car has had one owner… and 14 “minor misunderstandings.”
- Our prices are firm, unlike our ethics.
- The check engine light is just the car screaming for attention.
- “Certified pre-owned” means we Googled it once.
- We don’t sell lemons — just aggressively citrus-flavored vehicles.
- This car’s been in an accident, but so have most relationships.
- Low mileage, high emotional damage.
- The warranty lasts longer than most customer trust.
- Our sales process: smile, nod, lie, repeat.
- That smell? That’s character.
- This car runs great… downhill… with a tailwind.
- We don’t pressure customers — we emotionally corner them.
- The dealer fee is just a vibe.
- If it starts today, it’s a good car.
- Our return policy is called “regret.”
- This vehicle has more red flags than a bad Tinder date.
- Carfax said “good luck.”
- The radio works — what more do you want?
- Our salespeople have morals, they’re just optional upgrades.
- This car’s been detailed… emotionally.
- The brakes work most of the time, which is most important.
- We don’t upsell — we emotionally manipulate.
- The mileage is accurate in spirit.
- This car’s value drops faster than customer patience.
- The previous owner cried when trading it in — happiness tears.
- We offer financing and poor life choices.
- This car’s history is like your browser — best left unexplored.
- The dealer add-ons are non-negotiable, like taxes and regret.
- Our lot is where hope comes to depreciate.
- The engine noise is just excitement.
- We don’t judge credit scores — we exploit them.
- This car’s been inspected by someone with eyes.
- The price is high because confidence is expensive.
- The sales manager feeds on fear and bad math.
- This vehicle has seen things… legally speaking.
- Zero down, zero dignity.
- The warranty excludes “everything that matters.”
- Our cars are pre-loved, pre-lied-about, and pre-priced.
- If you squint, it’s basically new.
- The dealership coffee is stronger than our honesty.
- This car’s resale value is a tragic story.
- We don’t hide problems — we rebrand them.
- That vibration is just personality.
- Our sales pitch lasts longer than the car.
- This car was smoked in, cried in, and negotiated poorly.
- The paint’s original — the dents are bonus features.
- Buying here builds character. Mostly bad character.
- The car runs great for its age… and expectations.
- We promise transparency — emotionally opaque transparency.
- This deal is once-in-a-lifetime because we’ll never admit it again.
- The test drive is where dreams die quietly.
- This car’s past is like a bar fight — messy and undocumented.
- Our dealership motto: “You’ll get used to it.”
- The APR is high because ambition matters.
- This car has survived worse owners than you.
- The sales contract is longer than the car’s lifespan.
- We don’t rush customers — we just hover aggressively.
- The price dropped because guilt kicked in.
- This car is reliable… emotionally.
- The dashboard lights are just suggestions.
- Our deals are hot, like the engine after ignoring maintenance.
- This car’s been reconditioned — mostly spiritually.
- The salesman’s smile costs extra.
- Congratulations! You now own a lesson.
